Humour for Maths Teachers

A lazy but rich student sat for an exam. He didn’t know most of the answers to the questions asked. So, to bribe the examiner to pass him, he attached a $100 bill to his exam papers with a note, ‘One Dollar for One Point’.

One week later, he received his exam paper back with a note from the teacher who marked his paper, “Thanks for the money, return please find $51 as change.?

Humour for Social Studies Teacher

Teacher: How long did Sir Stamford Raffles live?
Ah Beng: All of his life.

Humour for Science Teachers

Today’s kids can talk their way out of anything: ?My son had ‘Cs’ and ‘Ds’ on his report card, and he insisted that they were vitamin deficiencies.?

Humour for CME teachers

A father was looking over his son’s report card, trying to figure out how he got an ’F’ for conduct, yet at the same time he got and ‘A’ for courtesy.

Finally, shaking his head, he said, ?I guess it means that when he beats somebody up, he apologises.?

Humour for English teachers

An American and a British boy were having an argument over a word in the English exam paper.

“The word should be windshield,? the American boy said.
“No, it’s not windshield. In England we call it a windscreen.? retorted the British boy.
“You’re wrong,? argued the American boy. “After all, we Americans invented the automobile, and we call this a windshield,?
‘Ah! But remember,? snapped the English boy, ‘who invented the language?’

Humour for Chinese teachers

Brother: Mum, please come, baby brother is ‘da dian hua’ (making a phone call).
Mother: Your brother cannot even speak, how can he ’da dian hua’ (making a phone call)?
Brother: Baby brother is using a piece of wood to hit the telephone – ‘da dian hua’ (hitting the phone). If you don’t come quickly, the phone is going to be damaged by him.

Extracted from
George Ong’s Humour series (Vol 1 -9) – available in The Aroozoo Library